I'm going to do something I never do; have never done <well maybe in high school – but that teacher was a crack pot> and will never do again. I'm going to disclose, in writing, on this blog, an unoriginal thought. Unoriginal, because it is not my own. I'm <cough – cough> copying it. That's right, I said it. I'm copying. I'm going to totally copy word for word the discourse presented on this blog right now. I will never do this again. I won't need to. But, for right now, I do not think I can get away with not dictating word for word the argument or rather the most interesting conversation piece that I have come across in some time. For all those thinking that I have just committed the grandest mistake any writer could make – relax, get your bloomers out of a bunch, loosen up the grip on your erased chewed #2 pencils and hear me -- I will give credit where credit is due.
For me, this is research for my book. For others an enlightening tale of the human condition. This is a didactic display of subject mastery. This author breaks down and peers into our deepest – darkest human selves and evolves us for the sake of selfish gain. We all need something and we all want something from someone else. Getting it – that is sometimes the problem, and sometimes, it is the solution.
Sit back, stay a while and participate in this enlightening, and rather instructional and intimate experience. If your ears are to virgin to reality, I'm not sure why you clicked your way into this blog. Maybe you are one of the victims so eager to explore, but never fully understanding what they're getting themselves in to. Maybe this is your chance to find out that burning question that has plagued your psyche since you first felt that wonderful sensation. Maybe this is your chance to ask, What if?
Can you identify the victim in you?
"Nobody in this world feels whole and complete. We all sense some gap in our character, something we need or want but cannot get on our own. When we fall in love, it is often with someone who seems to fill that gap. The process is usually unconscious and depends on luck: we wait for the right person to cross our page, and when we fall for them we hope they return our love. But the seducer does not leave such things to chance.
Look at the people around you. Forget their social exterior, their obvious character traits; look behind all of that, focusing on the gaps, the missing pieces in their psyche. That is the raw material of any seduction. Pay close attention to their clothes, their gestures, their offhand comments, the things in their house, certain looks in their eyes; get them to talk about their past, particularly past romances. And slowly the outline of those missing pieces will come into view. Understand: people are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack. They long for completeness, whether the illusion of it or the reality, and if it has to come from another person, that person has tremendous power over them. We may call them victims of a seduction, but they are almost always willing victims.
There are eighteen types of victims, each one of which has a dominant lack. Although your target may well reveal the qualities of more than one type, there is usually a common need that ties them together. Perhaps you see someone as both a New Prude and a Crushed Star, but what is common to both is a feeling of repression, and therefore a desire to be naughty, along with a fear of not being able or daring enough. In identifying your victim's type, be careful to not be taken in by outward appearances. Both deliberately and unconsciously, we often develop a social exterior designed specifically to disguise our weaknesses and lacks. For instance, you may think you are dealing with someone who is tough and cynical, without realizing that deep inside they have a soft sentimental core. They secretly pine for romance. And unless you identify their type and the emotions beneath their toughness, you lose the chance to truly seduce them. Most important: expunge the nasty habit of thinking that other people have the same lacks you do. You may crave comfort and security, but in giving comfort and security to someone else, on the assumption they must want them as well, you are more likely smothering and pushing them away.
Lastly, <that was my own>, Never try to seduce someone who is of your own type. You will be like two puzzles missing the same parts.
---- The Art of Seduction. Robert Greene. Penguin Books, published 2001.
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